I wonder why David decides to head out in battle against Absalom. After all, he left with his tail between his legs when he heard that his son had declared himself to be king. He also bore the insults and deceptions of lesser men on his way out. Something happens that changes his mind. I think that what happened was that he saw the Lord wasn’t through with him yet.

Remember back in chapter 15 when David was escaping Jerusalem? Abiathar and Zadok brought the ark and David sent them back saying “If I find favor in the eyes of the Lord, he will bring me back.” Then David sent these men to be his spies and Hushai to be his counselor and frustrate the counsel of Ahithophel before Absalom. David’s plan worked and perhaps that told him to take back what God had given to him.

He knew that it was Solomon, not Absalom that was to take the throne after him and that that time had not come yet. So now he goes on the offensive, but it doesn’t turn out like he would have wanted.

1 – 2

We don’t know just how many soldiers were at David’s disposal but it must have been quite a few. I imagine that many of the men who were with him in the desert running from Saul were there, as well as the men of Ittai, who had recently come from Philistia to serve David.

David says he would like to go with them. I wonder if it is to protect his son. It makes sense based on what he says in a moment. But the leaders of the army will have none of it.

3 – 5

They tell David it would be better for him to be a general back at HQ overseeing the battle than risk his life fighting himself. This would have been foreign to David who was used to being on the front lines!

So David makes a point about “deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom” in front of not only his leaders but the soldiers as well. David didn’t want to fight his son but neither did he want anyone else to. As a parent, one of the most difficult things is to let our children suffer the consequences of their actions. We always want to protect them. I’m sure David would love to turn the sundial back and have things the way they were before Absalom rebelled. But it was not to be and it isn’t for us either.

6 – 8

The battle happens east of the Jordan in area perhaps named by Ephraim on their way over the Jordan to their territory on the west side. Notice here that David’s better trained private army was more used to fighting in extreme conditions (as they did on the run from Saul). Also note that the forest claimed more lives than David’s soldiers. Surely the Lord was behind this defeat, which reminds us of the battle Israel fought against the Amorites in Joshua 10 as the Lord threw down hailstones that killed more soldiers than Israel that day too!

9

Okay, so why was Absalom riding a mule in the forest? It was a sign of a king to ride while the men walked so here was Absalom’s ego overriding his good sense. Secondly here is one example of the forest claiming lives. Absalom loved to have his hair long (14:26) and cut it once a year. Apparently he wasn’t due for a haircut yet. He sees soldiers he knows belong to David and perhaps in his hurry to get away the mule takes him under branches in a wind and his hair gets caught. Mules doing what they do it takes off without him. So here he is suspended between the heaven and earth, completely humiliated and vulnerable.

10 – 15

The soldier must have heard the stories of when people came and reported they had killed royalty (2 Samuel 1). They pretty much die. But Joab is not afraid of Uncle David and he and his armor bearers kill Absalom.

16 – 18

What a sad ending. Absalom’s sons were dead and so was Absalom. He and Ahithophel were hung on trees which was a curse to an Israelite (Deut 21). Absalom had set up this monument to himself, like Saul had done (1 Samuel 15:12) and that was all that was left (though it’s no longer there). Now Joab “sets up” a heap of stones as Absalom’s final memorial, in a way of comparing how pitiable his end was.

19 – 23

Joab knows full well what happens to those who deliver bad news about family or members of the royal family to David so he is not going to let Ahimaaz do it. This is one of the men who hid in the well outside of Jerusalem and delivered the news about Absalom’s plot to David in chapter 17. The Cushites were from the upper Nile or southern Mesoptamia and were, frankly, expendable in Joab’s eyes (they were not always friendly with Israel anyway – 2 Chronicles 14). Ahimaaz is so insistent that he gains permission anyway and beats out the Cushite who had a headstart and is taking a more course. It was about three miles to David.

24 – 30

It seems Ahimaaz simply didn’t know what good news he was bringing!

31 – 33

David’s response to the real news is not predictably David. He doesn’t strike the Cushite but weeps instead. Here it is not a king who is reacting but a father who is devastated over the death of his one.

Conclusions

We see here revealed the heart of a broken father. Though he knew he must fight, David did not wish harm on his son. He no doubt prayed that Absalom would be spared and hoped beyond hope that the messengers brought that good news. When the worst happened he wanted to place himself in Absalom’s place. Is this partly guilt for having brought the whole thing about by the sin with Bathsheba and Uriah? It is also the heart of our Father who indeed did die in our place.

David’s problem becomes not that he mourned but that he would not be comforted. We will see that next time but it is important that we not hold on to grief so hard and long that we can no longer hold on to God.

What do we as parents learn?

It’s okay to hurt for your kid’s choices (while not falling into their dysfunction)

It’s okay to pray that your kids will be spared the consequences of their actions (while knowing you can’t rescue them)

Absalom got his deserved end. He deserved the death sentence for cursing his father alone, but I think in some ways we are more like Absalom than we want to admit. In the flesh we are radically self centered and if left alone our flesh will do anything to get its way and rebel against our Father in heaven, even throwing Him off the throne of our lives. We too set up monuments for ourselves and want to be adored by everyone except our Father. But the flesh, like the donkey, will leave us hanging and the only outcome is death. Perhaps its not literal death, maybe its death of a relationship or a job or a place.

At any time Absalom could have called this off. One of the biggest mistakes we make is thinking its too late. It’s never too late with the Lord.